I guess I need to quit whining

For those of you who do take the time to drop in, I guess I can quit with the gloom and doom. Hell, I'm even tired of it.

I guess it would be easier if I could find some middle ground. In the 10 months or so that I've actually been playing, I've either been dead cold or winning everything in sight. There's no in between. I can't cash a couple of times then lose a little, I have to win a ton or lose constantly. I don't know if it's my approach to the game or just poker playing a mean little joke on me.

The worrisome part is that no matter how disgusted I get, I'm always ready to play. I just have to be careful and not open myself up too much and start thinking that J 7 suited looks pretty good in the cutoff.

Not going to make any promises, but I'll try slow down on the Hellmuth impersonations.

OK, time for a break.

I'm at a point to where I wonder how anybody can do this for a living. I can't do anything right.

If I make a move, I run into a monster or somebody makes a horrible call and hits.
If I sit tight and play position and try and mix it up, I get J 3 os all night.
If I catch a hand, somebody draws out.
When I win a hand, the pots are puny.
I haven't seen a pocket pair in a live games in 3 sessions.

I really don't like playing poker right now. I'm broke on UB and haven't won anything live in 2 months.

I'm committed to a friendly game next week, but, other than that, I think it's time for a few weeks off.

Please....make it stop

OK, I don't know who I need to talk to, but this is bordering on the ridiculous.

I'm playing some darn good poker and making incredible reads and feel like I couldn't beat Stevie Wonder if I lied to him about the hand.

Went to the boat (Cassar's Indiana) this weekend to play some 5/10 limit. I was giddy when I saw how loose the table was. 6 or 7 callers per hand, people playing any suited card....it was a dream. Well, for a while. The first session I was two horrible beats from a fantastic session. One time, I flopped a K high flush and couldn't get a guy out of the hand. He boated up 2's full of 9's on the river with runner runner. (Yes, he played 2 9 off....with a pre flop raise and not in the blinds). That pot and a similar situation turned a +$150 session into a break even session.

We went and had dinner and then it happened....I walked into hell. I didn't know you could blind and limp away $200, but, guess what....you can. Played with absolute morons who were betting and raising right and left. One hand capped with 4 players PF....AND NOBODY HAD A PAIR. Unfortunately for me, somebody forgot to tell the dealer I wanted fo play and I went on an impressive run of bad cards folding 32 hands in a row at one point.

Swore off poker for a while and felt like playing so I play a little live MTT. Played my ass of folding AK in the BB to an all in (he showed KK) and managed to make it within 4 of the final table....but still came up dry. I can never seem to pick up chips early and it was more of the same tonight.

The frustrating thing about this is that I'm playing smart and not making many mistakes. When I try and move, I always run into a bigger hand. If I just sit there...that's all I end up doing...sitting there. This has been going on for two solid months. I know it has turn around at some point, but I don't know how much more patience I can muster. I'm probably going to take some time off from any real games for a while. Will dabble a little on UB and talk to the CP guys, but will keep it small. I head to Colorado in a little over a week for a convention and I've lined up a game out there. I'm also planning on hitting one of the casinos outside of Colorado Springs. Hopefully, I'll have some better luck travelling than I have here.

I don't know.

Come on math....even up.

I see a glimmer of light, but it ain't very bright

One week into June and I can't be sure, but things are improving. I've played two tournaments (one live and one online) and made the final table in both. The only bad thing is that both times I finished just out of the money. I feel like I'm playing some quality poker and sooner or later this stretch will take its course, so I just need to continue what I'm doing and hope to hit that one extra hand that carries me over.

Speaking of the live game, I just finished and it played out very weird to me. I never seemed to get a good feel of my table and just didn't feel into it. It was also very frustrating in that I seemed to have horrible timing all night. Just about every time I was in late position with a playable hand, there was a huge raise in front of me that I couldn't justify calling. I had a couple of different suited connectors or small pairs, great hands to sneak in with, but I was staring at 5X BB raises or better.

I finished 5th by pretty much playing my big hands aggressive and got lucky one time when I moved in short stack and hit bottom pair to take the pot and triple up. I got paid back dearly when my pocket 66 got busted by trip 3's on the river and was taken out on a gutshot straight against my 22.

It was nice in that I really never got a rush of any sort and did nothing spectacular. Probably my best plays were top pair laydowns against big raises (both ended up being bottom two pair). I feel good in that I feel like I'm not making many mistakes, but frustrated to go that deep into a tournament only to come up dry. I know that's the nature of tournaments, but I also know the quality of people I'm playing against and should be doing somewhat better. Then again, it takes a combination of good play and cooperative cards to do well. Both of my last two tournaments I was the favorite going in and was taken out by a 3 outer and a gutshot, so I'm putting myself in the right positions.

On a bright note, I've focused my online play to SnG's for a while and have salvaged my account. Two 2nds and a first this week and I've worked it back from $5 to almost $100. I don't exactly play for big stakes online, but I would like to continue to build up my BR and see what I can do with it.

As far as this blog thing goes, well, I try and update it when I can, but I don't know if a soul reads it right now, so there's no pressure either. If I should get some fans (ha ha), I'll try and be more dedicated, but for now, once a week is as probably as good as it gets.